dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize