why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
