You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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