Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
