she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
