Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize