Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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