i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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