Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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