Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
