just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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