Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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