You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
