he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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