he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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