just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
