Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fuck appropriateness.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
