TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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