Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're a waste of cheezeits
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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