problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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