I can't watch pbs sober anymore
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I love you. Go after that dick
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
