So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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