u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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