I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
