I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize