stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So much rum. So many feels.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
