Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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