As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
