So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
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I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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