im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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