It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
