can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
