I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
whose parrot is this?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
try to milk me bitch
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