Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
