singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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