never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
