So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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