I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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