I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
two words...techno handjob
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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