I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
