the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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