nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize