Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
