I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
