i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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