There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
