Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
