Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
