I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
