I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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