There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
