High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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