I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
