cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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