I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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