The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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