the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
