No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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