Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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