when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
