how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
