Say something about gay babies.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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