I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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