very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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