You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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