what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
