What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
