these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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